Hurt people hurt people – why bullying happens

This is a fantastic guest post from Thinking Family – Stop Bullying Forever. I hope that you will learn a lot from it!

As many as 85% of youths say they are bullied. How can that number be so high? Who is doing all this bullying? The answer may not be what you expect. Bullying, as it turns out, may be one big cycle of anger and violence that actually starts with a victim. The general idea is that people who are hurt then hurt others.

When a person hurts someone it not only damages them physically, it also damages their confidence and self-esteem. That person will then seek out ways to make themselves feel better. In many cases the way they go about that is to hurt someone else. When a person is hurt and feels small, they want to strike out so hurting someone else and making them feel small may make the bully feel better, at least for a short time. This starts the cycle. The first hurt person hurts a second person who then hurts a third person and so on. It doesn’t take long to see how one person being bullied can turn into two then three then five and so on.

Experts believe this is a perfect example of why we need to help those who bully as well as those who are bullied. Discovering the root cause of why someone is a bully and helping them cope with those issues can go a long way towards stopping the cycle of bullying.

If, when dealing with bullying, we keep in mind that there is a good chance that the bully is also a victim in their own right, we can go a long way towards understanding the causes of bullying and putting them to an end.