Do you ever feel like your kids are in charge ? You are not Alone. We love our kids so much that they end up taking advantage of us. But it does not have to be that way. You have the ability and talent to be the best parent possible. Our unconditional love can’t and should not get in the way of us being good parents.
Today, I will offer some tips that will allow us show our kids that we love them and we are in charge.
1. Real Reward:
We tend to remember the bad things they do and forget to encourage and praise them for the good they do. Adults underestimate kids; they are have superior intelligences ,and they tend to remember a lot more than we can even imagine. If a child is starving for your attention, they they might do something bad because they get more attention by doing so. Yes, I agree that we must scold them for bad things ,but we equally must be cognitive of their good deeds. When I say rewards them, I don’t mean giving them candy or toys;rather, we must just say a nice and encouraging word such as good baby or you are smart child. More is less;the simplest rewards are the best.
2. Setting Boundaries :
Set boundaries and be consistent. To function in society we must stay within the boundaries. We stop on red lights and go on green lights. Well most of the times :). Likewise, we must teach our kids the there are boundaries at home and outside. If we want those rules to be followed, then we must be consistent. I know at times they will cry and throw temper tantrums but that is all part of growing up. They are just trying to push our buttons so don’t let them.You have to stay firm. When I was growing up,my mother used to tell me that such and such was for my own good. You know what ? She was right. Those boundaries not only helped to become a better child but today those rules are still helping me to be a better adult.
If the rules are broken then time out should be implemented. We don’t believe hitting our kids will make things better;rather,violence breed more violence. If we hit them, they they will think that hitting will solve problems.When out daughter breaks the rule, we tell what rule she broken and then tell her to go sit and take a time out. Since she is two, we give her a two minute time out. Most of the time, she does not brake the same rule twice. Time out is not perfect ,but it is much better than hitting.
4.Just Say NO:
We don’t always have to give into our kids. If we always say yes to everything our kids want ,then they will get spoiled. Our daughter ,like most kids, loves toys and candy, and we buy both for her.However, when we take her to the store, she does not get them every time. You have to learn how to say no to them even when they cry. They know that we get weak when they cry. If they are okay ,then we have to ignore those manipulating cries. They will thank you later for not spoiling them.Saying no is NOT a bad thing.
5.Let them play:
I love my daughter too much ,but I realize that she needs her space sometimes. We don’t always have to play with them.Most of the times my daughter and I would read or build together. However, sometimes, she wants to sit alone and try to read or build by herself. That is okay. They need to feel that they are independent. The more independent they are the better prepare they will be for school and the outside world.
What parenting tips/hacks do you have up your sleeves?